I rest.

Room dark
Fan whirring
Sleeping in my underwear
I rest.

I feel
the top of my head
neck, shoulders, hands
chest, rib cage, hips
knees, ankles, toes.

The firm mattress holds my body,
supporting,
beneath me.

It holds my body, and the earth holds it.
I am learning to trust.

Our feet, they carry us.
Our pelvic floors, they hold us.
Horizontals in the body
where one can loosen and
expand and
rest.

I am learning to rest.
To show up fully in my resting place.
Instead of being up and out and putting on a show
I am down and in and breathing into my being.
I untie the knots in my gut and feel the energy flow down through my pelvis
through my legs
through the bottoms of my feet
that hold me.

The firm mattress holds my body,
supporting,
beneath me.

It holds my body, and the earth holds it.
I am learning to trust.

I rest.

traversing twenties: with Dyana Valentine

If could reach back through time and have a heart-to-heart with your twentysomething self, what would you say to her? 

She’s in her twenties, that glorified period of life when she’s supposed to be discovering herself, deep in exploration, living her most defining decade. And yet.....she may feel like the exact opposite. Or exactly that. Or somewhere in between. She probably doesn't even know.

Maybe you pour her a cup of tea, look into her eyes, wrap her in a hug.

What do you tell her? 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's piece comes from the ever-lovely Dyana Valentine. Dyana is one of those women who I fell in love with immediately and I have absolutely no recollection of how I ever found her. (Isn't that how the best things happen?) But I'm really glad I did. One of the very first things of hers that I connected with was a 2 1/2-minute video that she woke up in the middle of the night to record. I replayed it over and over and then proceeded to watch it every day for weeks on end, when I needed it most. Now it's like a gem I carry around in my pocket, suddenly remembering that it's there and feeling grateful that I still have it. I take a deep breath, I feel a little more centered, and I thank my lucky stars that Dyana woke up at 4am to record this.

When I emailed Dyana about this project and spewed my gratitude for this video, she suggested using it as her submission. Twentysomething or not, I think you will love it. Thank you, Dyana:

you will survive from Dyana Valentine on Vimeo.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Dyana Valentine is not for the faint of heart. She’s spent 13+ years teaching leaders to listen to themselves and complete seemingly impossible projects—we’re talking major brand overhauls, six-figure product launches, full-fledged manuscripts. She serves up straight-from-the-hip advice in online magazines and columns all over the ‘net. In a past life, she was an idiot-savant microsurgery tech, worked for the Olympic Games organizing committee, and was personally approached by the FBI with a recruitment invitation—for classified reasons – on two separate occasions. See more at: http://dyanavalentine.com

***
Previous posts:
Nisha Moodley
Alisha Sommer
Maya Zaido

the most ridiculous thing.

 “Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.”
― Allen Ginsberg

 

"Stop shoulding all over yourself," she told me. I giggled. She didn't.

And then I went on. "But, I have to. I already started. Everyone else did. If I don't, I'll look like such a failure. I really should."

She repeated. "Stop shoulding all over yourself, Ruth. Every time you hear yourself say the word should, create an alarm to go off in your brain. Should is just a judgment. Don't use it."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"You look so put together today!" she told me. I looked at her, confused.

I did not feel put together. I had my hair done and had makeup on and was wearing a nice outfit from a photo shoot earlier that day

but I in no way felt put together. What does "put together" even mean? I thought to myself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

I told her how I'm in my 20s and feel the need to have a significant other and a child and an established home and at least a job with benefits.

She told me she's in her 30s and has all those things and feels like she needs something else.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Because there's no one way our lives should look.

What does that even mean, anyway? Our lives looking a certain way.

Is there anything more ridiculous?

You can't look at someone's life and decide if it's yes or no.

You can't look at your own life and decide if it's enough like someone else's.

That's the most ridiculous thing, I think. 

Absolutely absurd.

Totally bizarre.

Completely nonsensical.

And so I'm moving on.

traversing twenties: with Maya Zaido

If could reach back through time and have a heart-to-heart with your twentysomething self, what would you say to her? 

She’s in her twenties, that glorified period of life when she’s supposed to be discovering herself, deep in exploration, living her most defining decade. And yet.....she may feel like the exact opposite. Or exactly that. Or somewhere in between. She probably doesn't even know.

Maybe you pour her a cup of tea, look into her eyes, wrap her in a hug.

What do you tell her? 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I was planning this series, I serendipitously came across a beautiful post by a woman named Maya Zaido, entitled "message for all my 20-something friends." As soon as I read it, I found Maya on Facebook and immediately messaged her: I saw your post this morning and knew I needed to connect with you. It was seriously perfect timing and seriously meant to be -- kindred spirits, for sure. Maya graciously contributed this piece and it needs to be shared. Thank you, Maya:

perfectly imperfect

you are unique

20something Maya

venturing to find what you are searching for

life is fast and moments aren't important

often there are way too many of them

moving way too slow

your 20s are the beginning of deciphering your pain

and the continuation of your escape

moments only seem to be one

or the other

life isn't fast

you are fast

running from one thing to the next

tricked into thinking you can find the answer outside yourself

you stop attending classes

you disappear as soon as the work challenges

you disappear from relationships

as soon as you become afraid

terrified of being exposed

of people seeing your ugly

all that makes you an imperfectly perfect kind of beautiful

in a society of illusion

it isn't until you commit to asking for help

no matter what

that you unknowingly discover the key

slowly getting ok with your personal ugly

you are running fast and when you aren't

utter pain comes to visit

making almost unbearable time spent in your quiet

the same quiet that your 40yo self yearns for when without

moments are enough in number now

the difference is that you no longer run

you truly love yourself

not perfectly

not without the hard moments found in any relationship

imperfectly perfect

you enjoy being in your own company

in your calmness

in your centered

you embrace both your still waters

and the ebb and flow at your shore

you've learned to appreciate storms as they bring great clarity in the clearing

there is a knowing that all truly does pass

change

transition

you know this through experience

your choices

you know that life happens for you

with your best interest

even when you can't see the evidence

yet

opt to not run

my dear 20something Maya

begin to embrace your ugly

give your exhausted spirit a break

find purpose in what you create and share

clarity of purpose is inside the pain

inside the spaces that feel too uncomfortable

ask for the support you need

ask until you receive

have your own back

create from your purpose when you can

bounce off of it as you trampoline toward life

investigate

choose your direction consciously

not by default

either way it's always your choice

remember there are no wrong picks

there are only experiences

for you

my dear

when you look back with your 40yo eyes

you will not regret your moments

you will open wide to your life

anew most every day

you will open wide to yourself

anew most every day

you will discover a perfect amount of moments

imperfectly perfect

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as an artist who paints with words, i am impassioned by traveling to places others tend to avoid. you know, the iffy; the dark and scary; the at times seemingly treacherous places we all have. yeah, those places. i tell the tales that surface of my own treacherous places, my own iffy-ness; my own dark and scary. in hopes this somehow helps you as much as it does me; in hopes my words offer you exactly that: hope. because telling about your iffy places and rewriting them so they are no longer treacherous is the key to freedom. create on my dear. ~maya ox

stay connected: ravensway journal, mayazaido.com, facebook, pinterest

traversing twenties: with Alisha Sommer

If could reach back through time and have a heart-to-heart with your twentysomething self, what would you say to her? 

She’s in her twenties, that glorified period of life when she’s supposed to be discovering herself, deep in exploration, living her most defining decade. And yet.....she may feel like the exact opposite. Or exactly that. Or somewhere in between. She probably doesn't even know.

Maybe you pour her a cup of tea, look into her eyes, wrap her in a hug.

What do you tell her? 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today we have a beautiful piece of poetry from the incredible Alisha Sommer. Alisha is a gifted writer who is constantly bowling me over with her talent in writing from the heart. From peaceful Instagram photos to wise blog posts, Alisha is certainly one of my guides in the world of writing. Thank you, Alisha:

Girl Woman, come sit with me for a while.

No, actually, this won’t take very long. 

So just stand real close,

open up your heart and listen.

(Lean in--sometimes Soul speaks in whispers.)

They will tell you that the world can be yours

if you just climb Kilimanjaro,

rescue babies from burning buildings,

perform any miracle,

just walk on the water.

Go be Somebody.

But know this:

The only Body to go Be is

You.

You

will slay dragons,

breathe fire from the belly,

dig up the demons, and

chisel away at the constructs that constrict

You.

And You,

You,

will see that everything that is the world

is already in

You.

So just stand real close.

Open up your heart.

And listen.

The Soul speaks.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I am Alisha Sommer, wife to my husband, and mommy to my 3 babes.
I drink coffee and wine. I am a writer. I am a truth-sayer, a soul-whisperer, a seeker.
I am a deep thinker, an illuminator and a dreamer.
I am an encourager, an inspirer, a wordcrafter.
I am a storyteller.

I share truth at alishasommer.com.

traversing twenties : with Nisha Moodley

If could reach back through time and have a heart-to-heart with your twentysomething self, what would you say to her? 

She’s in her twenties, that glorified period of life when she’s supposed to be discovering herself, deep in exploration, living her most defining decade. And yet.....she may feel like the exact opposite. Or exactly that. Or somewhere in between. She probably doesn't even know.

Maybe you pour her a cup of tea, look into her eyes, wrap her in a hug.

What do you tell her? 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In today's very first Traversing Twenties guest post, we have some beautiful words on sisterhood from the gorgeous Nisha Moodley. When I first came across Nisha last year, I became enamored by her crazy amounts of wisdom, little snippets on Facebook that blow you away, and of course her use of red lipstick (she gets asked about it so much she even has a tutorial video!) I just knew that Nisha would be perfect for this series, and she graciously contributed. Thank you, Nisha:

Dear Me,

I know you feel lonely sometimes, even when people think things are perfect.

Sometimes you hide your true feelings from others and don't tell them the difficult or painful things you're going through, because you're embarrassed.  You don't want them to know the messy bits, so you keep them to yourself.  It's confusing. And lonely.

So you try to fix it all by yourself.  You rack your brain in search of answers to your deepest questions, and hope to goodness that you find your way soon.  You read self-help books and go to yoga, searching for clear answers and the courage to listen. 

I understand.  And I have something to tell you, sweet one.  Please listen carefully.

You are a woman, and for all of humankind, women have lived together.  At any other time in humankind, if you were happy, sad, confused, embarrassed, excited or lonely, one of your sisters would notice.  She'd come sit with you to listen to you...to hold your hand and laugh with you, cry with you, advise you, and help you find your way. 

I know it feels natural to isolate yourself and hide your deepest truths.  I know it feels a bit scary and embarrassing to imagine telling someone all of your confusing thoughts, but here is the truth: you are not designed to do it by yourself.  You are not built to find clarity in solitude.  You need your sisters.  It's built into the fabric of being a woman.

Please know this, and make a gentle effort at sharing what's really going on with a woman you trust.  If you don't have a woman in your life that you trust, make a gentle effort to find one...then another.  This is not just for you, my dear (although it will make your whole life richer and more pleasurable), it is for all of us.  The world needs women in sisterhood. 

Next time you feel something, share it.  It may take something, but it will give you so much more.

Love,
Me

_________________________________________________________________________

Nisha Moodley is a former foodaholic, shopaholic and workaholic, turned freedom junkie, who broke free from addiction and is on a mission to champion women's freedom.  She is the founder of FIERCE FABULOUS FREE, where she takes women on incredible adventures worldwide to create a clear vision for their future, and design their lives and work to align with that vision. 

Download her free Take Flight Action Guide at http://fiercefabulousfree.com.