"How do you want to feel, right now?" she asked me. Good friends can be so knowing.
"I want to feel content and fulfilled and satisfied," I told her. I nodded, sure of my answers.
And then I drove home. And like all good solo car rides down the highway at sunset, I woke up a bit. My eyes got a little teary and my heart got a little more open and I began talking.
Fuck that, I said out loud. Fuck "content" and "fulfilled" and "satisfied." I am so done with those words.
The sky opened up before me and I turned down the radio and it was just me and my voice. I am so done with those words.
I want to feel
WILD
SUCCULENT
DANGEROUS
DELICIOUS
EXHILARATED
ALIVE
ON FIRE
PRIMAL
VISIBLE
I am 25. I am done with anything less.
I am done with anything less.
I am done with anything less.
And so I ask you, too: how do you want to feel, right now?
I so see you in all of your succulent wildness. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alisha. That's a pretty big honor :)
DeleteYES!! God, Yes! Wild. Unwavering. Fierce. Divine.
ReplyDeleteLove it, Carmella! Yes!
DeleteFirm, powerful, brave, unrelenting.
ReplyDeleteOh Maria, those are beautiful. Especially unrelenting...
DeleteThere is, however, something to be said for "content and fulfilled and satisfied" after you've run through the gamut of
ReplyDeleteWILD,SUCCULENT,DANGEROUS,DELICIOUS,EXHILARATED,ALIVE,ON FIRE,PRIMAL, and VISIBLE; after you've reach the age of 70, and lived a GLORIOUS life such as you've described. To have lived through such wonderful eras, such adventures beyond description, yes–"content, fulfilled, and satisfied," sound quite nice. :) Thanks for the memories...
Oh yes, absolutely!! So glad you said this :)
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